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The
Cyberspouse: August, 2000
Some Thoughts on the Internet and Foreign Service Transfers
Like many of her readers, the Cyberspouse is currently homeless, living out of a couple of suitcases while between posts. Despite this unsettling state of limbo, she has managed to stay relatively sane, thanks largely to the Internet. While relaxing on her mother's porch swing, she came up with a few brief reflections on the positive impact of the Internet on Foreign Service transfers.
The Cyberspouse remembers the first transfer in her family's Foreign Service career. Twelve years ago we set out for Bolivia, our first Latin American experience. We knew very little about the country of assignment, although we were fortunate that, being in the United States, we could use the Arlington County library for research, as well as the Overseas Briefing Center. Some Community Liaison Officers (CLOs) are fonts of information. Alas, this was not the case. A single-page form letter was our sole direct communication with this CLO. As a result, we relied largely on the official Post Report. How primitive this seems now!
This time, our many questions regarding our next assignment have been answered quickly, again, through email to the CLO and others. Even better, the Cyberspouse has been able to contact the CLO at her next post directly, rather than through the cables and phone calls that used to be the exclusive responsibility of the officer. There has been far less miscommunication and frustration as a result!
In the last few months the Cyberspouse has used the Real Post Reports online, read Czech newspapers, taken "virtual tours"of the Czech Republic through tourism web sites, communicated extensively with the CLO in Prague, and discussed the city with other recent and current inhabitants through email. In fact, she has become well-acquainted with her new next-door neighbor who was kind enough to send digital photos of the inside and outside of her new house! The Cyberchildren have chosen their own rooms based on these photos, and are eagerly anticipating playing in their new backyard, again seen through photos. The whole family's stress level has been lowered thanks to this wealth of information.
Technically speaking, this move has been less stressful than the previous five. This is partly due to the knowledge that we can be easily contacted wherever we are through email. Instead of leaving a long list of phone numbers with the property manager, for example, we simply scribbled two email addresses and an eFax number. Family members received several links to various hotels along with flight information in an email that was sent to everyone simultaneously. (Remember all the expensive phone calls that were once required to keep everyone in the loop?) Airline and hotel reservations were made online, with a 100 percent success rate (so far!)
Perhaps most importantly, it feels as if a large part of the Cyberspouse's world has remained unchanged, despite the upheaval of an international move. Within days of packout, she found herself conversing with friends through email as if she had never left Washington, D.C. In fact, some of these friends were made entirely through email to begin with! The summer has seen several gatherings of these "email buddies," as well as one reunion of friends that probably would never have happened had the parties involved not been relatively easy to track down through email.
Those dreaded goodbyes, always the hardest aspect of intercontinental transfers, have been easier, even for the youngest members of our family. It is wonderful to know that, even though we may live across the ocean, Grandma will continue to send the same little notes, and Kid Pix masterpieces can be emailed to an enthusiastic audience just as they were before. The Cyberdaughter even made a project of collecting the email addresses of all her friends before departure, and plans to post a diary of her European adventures online, complete with photos, for her former classmates to enjoy.
Some point to email and the Internet as a sign of the alienation of people within our society. They say that email is no subsitute for conversation: the Internet causes us to withdraw from our fellow human beings. The Cyberspouse has found that, at least in the microcosm of the Foreign Service, the opposite is the case. The Internet can strengthen friendships and family ties that might be hard to maintain otherwise. Conversations can be started online and continued in person months, or even years later. For this diplomatic family, the world seems a smaller and friendlier place as a result.
The Cyberspouse is contributed by Kelly Bembry Midura, website designer, freelance writer, stay-at-home parent, and veteran Foreign Service Spouse. She is currently working on a book about frugal living for families in the Washington, DC area. Click here to read more "Cyberspouse" columns. Email Kelly at kelly@aafsw.org.