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Thoughts from the Members of Livelines
In a recent issue of Livelines, one of our members, Leslie, asked a question regarding pursuing a career as a Foreign Service spouse. Responses were immediate and too numerous to count! We thought our website readers would be interested in the exchange of information that resulted. There's a lot of great stuff here! Here is Leslie's original entry, followed by four of our members' sage advice.
From: Leslie
I was wondering if anyone out there pursued a career while in DC during their spouse's initial training. I currently work for a Big Five accounting firm that has several offices in the DC area. I could arrange to work from one of those offices or telecommute from DC, if I so desired. Thing is.I don't know if I want to.
My question to those with experience: does it behoove me to make DC work arrangements with my employer or would I be happier/saner to let my "career" go? I note "career" in parentheses because I am not terribly committed to what I do, but I figured the money would be nice and it might keep me busy while my husband is in class (no kids yet).
BUT, will I be busy doing things I don't know about yet? Will I too have classes/events to attend? Will I be too caught up getting to know the FS ropes that the added stress of Corporate America will only make me go completely bonkers?
I HOPE to be very involved in our new lifestyle, meeting new people, etc., and I am very much looking forward to language training if my husband gets assigned to a post requiring it-but don't those classes come several months after arrival in DC (i.e., after initial training)? Would I have anything to do between arrival and potential language training? Can I, as a spouse, take other classes that my husband will be taking in A-100? Are there other avenues that I can pursue that I don't know about yet?
Just trying to plan ahead if I can, keep busy, and give my employer a clear idea of my intentions when the time comes.
Thanks for any insight. Leslie
Here's how some of our members responded:
Response #1 from: "Jan Fischer Bachman" Subject: Re: To work or not to work
Leslie, I would say, by ALL MEANS take a job. You can always quit if you want to--hey, you're going to quit eventually anyway. Or maybe not, if your company has offices (or even connections) overseas. I tell you this based primarily on the experiences of a friend who left a "career" position (she didn't love it either, it just paid well) to follow her husband to D.C. for training. She found herself in a tiny apartment, without most of her stuff, with no job and little to do and just about lost it totally. Remember that your things will mostly be in storage, and you will be in temporary housing. Leaving your home and friends and familiar surroundings may be enough for one time, without leaving your job, too. Also, if you combine the cost of living in D.C. with a reduced income, you might find it depressing to suddenly be so broke!
I never experienced training as a spouse because I married my husband in between two of his overseas assignments. I don't THINK there is too much spouse involvement (happy hours, etc., yes, which you could still do after work) If you want to work as a consular associate or whatever the title is, you may want to take the consular course. Many of the Overseas Briefing Center courses (and DO take as many of these as possible!) are now in the evening or on Saturdays--or you could always take a few days off, even unpaid. I'm glad you want to do language training. DO IT--and if they say the classes are full, keep fighting for it! Language skills are really important for a happy life (sez me).
Another important point is that you will be returning to D.C. in the future (frequency is up to the two of you) and those work contacts you make could be vital to future employment. D.C. very much works on a who-you-know basis and by working even a few months, you can meet people who will help you find a job later. (Keep in touch with them from time to time!)
I'll be interested to see what others say!
Best wishes! It sounds like you have a great attitude so far.
Jan Fischer Bachman
Response #2 from: "P. Linderman" Subject: Re: To work or not to work
Dear Leslie:
We already lived in D.C., and I was working while my husband was in training. In fact, I was working long hours, because everyone piled up their demands on me once they heard I was going to leave (this is perverse; avoid it if you can!).
As a result, I did practically nothing to prepare for going overseas. One trip to the Overseas Briefing Center, and our medical exam and shots -- that's it. We went to an English-speaking post the first time out, so no language training either.
So as you can imagine, I had no idea what was going on when I first got to post, and I had a very rough first six months. Luckily, I seemed to catch up after that, with the help of patient new friends.
I think Jan's points are very good, but I would recommend working part-time, or at least not OVERtime, in Washington. Spend some time reading through all the materials at the Overseas Briefing Center; take courses that apply to your situation, and most of all: get together with some experienced Foreign Service spouses and listen to them talk about this crazy, fascinating life we lead.
In my opinion, the "bonding" that is so heavily promoted among classmates in training (A-100) is overrated, especially for spouses. These are newcomers too, and you will all be serving in different places. No need to go to all their receptions and stuff (and you're not even invited to some of it). Better to find a few experienced overseas folks, maybe through AAFSW.
Back to the work issue: telecommuting may be an excellent choice for you, because you may be able to continue working this way (at least part-time or as a consultant) while overseas. Be sure to check on Internet availability at the posts you bid on, if you choose this option.
Good luck and keep in touch!
Patricia Linderman Leipzig, Germany, and bidding for 2001 ...
Response #3 from: "Weech, William A" Subject: RE: To Work or Not To Work
Leslie Ashby asks if she should work while her husband is in his initial training for the Foreign Service. Obviously the decision is a personal one and either choice has its pros and cons. In my experience, though, people who have language training are often happier overseas than people who do not. I think this general rule -- which has plenty of exceptions, I know -- applies both to employees and spouses. So I would urge Leslie to give careful thought to the question of whether she wants to skip language training. Also, Leslie may want to think about the possibility that attending training rather than working while in Washington may make her more employable overseas, if she is interested in certain kinds of jobs at post.
When I joined the Foreign Service, I had almost 12 months of training in Washington before I went overseas. About half of that was language training. My new wife attending training during most of the time that we were in Washington, although she did not take the exact same courses that I did. She did join me in six months of Serbian training. If we had it to do over again, I think we would make the same choices. That doesn't mean that our choices are the right ones for everybody, of course. Whatever you decide, Leslie, welcome and good luck!
William A. Weech
Response #4 from: "Jennifer Kolodner" Subject: Re: To work or not to work
Hi Leslie, As the working spouse of a new JO, I'd say that taking a job in DC will keep your mind busy (so that you're not constantly thinking "where are we going to be posted?"), give you an income of your own (DC is quite expensive), give you a venue for making friends (who may still be in DC when you're back from time to time), give you a reason to get up in the morning (a good way to avoid depression), and give your life some sense of normalcy (not to be underestimated).
I do agree that part-time or at least not over-time work would be a great way to go. In terms of language training, you have more options than just taking language training at State. Of course, that's the cheapest and probably the best way to learn the language, but there are adult ed, USDA grad school, community college, and language school classes available all over the DC area as well as native speakers of every language that you could imagine. You could pretty easily set up a language exchange through your local library, where you teach the newcomer English and they teach you their language. Perhaps these aren't solutions for everyone, but they are an example of the MANY MANY options you have in the DC area if you look for them. (I'll start an adult ed class in Arabic in 2 weeks; then I'll take some more focused classes; a number of my coworkers speak Arabic and are willing to do Arabic-only lunches with me for practice. Then there's all the little stickies Michael and I are going to put around the house for practice, and talking with him. I'm pretty confident that I'll have a good foundation before we go abroad.)
I haven't made it to many of the A100 classes, but I didn't feel like I was missing much. However, I will admit that I felt really left out of the action when I did attend. There's nothing like walking in in the middle of something to hammer home that you're "other." I'm sure that's one reason why so many spouses end up taking the FS Exam and becoming FSOs themselves.
Good luck and feel free to call/write, Jennifer Kolodner