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Realities of Foreign Service Life Vol. 1

Realities of Foreign Service Life Vol. 2

Realities of Foreign Service Life, Volumes 1 and 2: Writers from the Foreign Service community share their first-hand experiences and insights through essays on Foreign Service life. A great gift for newcomers or veterans of the Foreign Service and especially useful for anyone considering a Foreign Service career! Read more about Realities of Foreign Service Life here and order your copy!

 

10 Survival Tips for Living in DC on One Income 

A message from the AAFSW playgroup to all single-income FS families.

Everyone knows the typical refrain of Foreign Service families who have just returned overseas from DC tours: "Oh, it was SO expensive! We used up all of our savings! We maxed out our credit cards! Housework was horrible with no maid! I almost went out of my mind cooped up with no babysitter! You have no idea!"

Well, some of this is certainly true, but the fact is that DC is just a post like any other post, and you have to employ those famous coping skills that got you through Iceland or Botswana if you want to make the most of it. Money problems are even worse here if you are living on one income while raising children, but it's not the end of the world, we have found.

The last few months living here in DC have led us to the surprising revelation that in some ways we are better prepared to survive here on one income than are most people who have been living here for years! It's nice to know that even though our formal resumes doesn't add up to much, we have acquired some skills over the last several postings that come in extremely handy. After all, when you think about it, money earned and money saved are pretty much the same thing in the long run. Plus, if you have been living on one income for the past several years you probably don't have much in the way of savings to fall back on when things get tight. There are plenty of other spouses in our situation out there who are capable of everything we are. So here's our Ten Tips-we invite further comment from anyone else who can make a suggestion, and maybe someday we'll write a book!

Downscale that house! It's easy to forget after years in the tropics that you will really only be able to use that yard for about half of the year here. It's also easy to forget that there are actual parks here, with actual safe playground equipment, and no beggars or stray rabid dogs to deal with. In the winter you have a bazillion indoor entertainment options as well. You also have to keep in mind that there will be NO GARDENER OR HOUSEKEEPER, period. We all bought or rented good-sized townhouses, took a couple of truckloads to the Salvation Army right after moving in (we haven't missed any of that stuff either), and saved on mortgage, rent, utilities, upkeep, furnishings, taxes, you name it. Be selective about what you unpack-it won't hurt most of those knick-knacks to stay boxed up for one tour, and in small quarters they'll probably be safer that way. Plus one can often find townhouses within walking distance of the Metro-which you can't say of many single family homes-so we don't need a second car. Townhouses are actually kind of cozy after the rambling, slightly decrepit, mansions we so often inhabit overseas. Consider this option!

Shop in bulk! It's easy-you know how! It might seem kind of ironic to be bringing home cases of spaghetti sauce in the world's most convenient country, but you can't beat the prices, and there is something to be said for always having something you can whip up in your kitchen. In fact, after all these overseas tours some of us feel a little insecure if we don't have at least 10 chicken breasts in the freezer (no one admits to still keeping a roll of toilet paper in the car, however). Bulk stores like Costco are quite Yuppie by now as well. You can buy everything from pignoli to microbrews there, and they even offer free muffins and orange juice to keep the kids happy.

Coupon-clipping is usually a new one to us, not being very common in countries with literacy rates below 50%, but you would be surprised how much you can save once you develop a system. Here's one system: buy what's on sale, and then use a coupon as well if you can. Cereal often will end up costing you about a dollar a box this way, for example. Coupons are flying around for almost anything you can imagine, from pizza to car tune-ups and dry cleaning, and they really add up quickly. It's easy to save at least five or ten percent on your grocery bill, plus you will get more variety in your diet! How often did you plan your dinners in Lusaka around whatever was available that week in the market? How often did you buy what was available, chop it up, and put it in the freezer for a rainy (or drought-stricken) day? If you can handle that kind of planning, you can certainly handle this.

Get organized! Get financial software if you can, and start tracking your spending in order to control it better. When your Visa balance comes up every time you turn on your computer it can be a highly effective motivator! If you've ever organized an intercontinental move you can handle this. On the positive side, in DC your budget may be tighter, but it's also a lot simpler dealing with a single currency, no diplomatic tax refunds, and no household staff.

Shop consignment! One of the biggest advantages to living in the DC area, is that there are a lot of very wealthy people who give away or consign a LOT of very nice stuff. It's strange to go from being the rich gringo who did the giving to being one of the little people, but we got used to it pretty quickly. Children's consignment shops are the only way to go for kids clothing and toys. Women's consignment shops are almost elegant, with free coffee and cookies and tons of designer wear to search through. Now get this: we shop at the Salvation Army! The goods include like-new brand-name and designer clothes for $3.00 apiece, and clean and pressed to boot. We have also bought very solid furniture which just needed a little paint. (This is much more fun than catalog shopping). Plenty off well-off looking people shop there as well-this could get to be almost hip if we don't watch out.

Find the free stuff! Washington DC has got to have more neat free stuff to do than just about anywhere else in the States. Again, living in one of the richest areas of the countries has its' advantages. Fairfax County's annual budget is bigger than that of most of the countries we live in while posted overseas, and it funds extensive parks, nature preserves, and bike trails, a huge library network, and a number of well-equipped recreation centers. There are also the obvious free touristy things to do in the District, which should keep anyone occupied for a while. We appreciate all of this more than most people because of the places we have lived, and we also make a point of doing them because we never know where we might end up in the future--or when we might be leaving.

Avoid the malls! People here have money. A lot of money. In fact, so much money that they tend to wander around all weekend trying to figure out how to get rid of it. Make one Christmas-season shopping trip here and you will realize that consumer culture is completely out of control in this city. One of the truly great things about living overseas, is that you break the mall habit, and don't automatically think of going shopping when trying to occupy a Saturday. That goes double for kids! Isn't it sweet how relatively unmaterialistic our little Foreign Service tikes are? Why do you need more things to organize and pack up on your next move? Don't go to the mall and you won't be tempted.

Sell the Jeep! You don't need four-wheel drive or a two-foot clearance here-trust us. Nor do you need space for extra gasoline, a complete tool kit, or emergency food rations. You will get by just fine with a sedan and a large bike rack. You are going to want to spend that gas money on something more necessary (or fun) during this tour.

Delay gratification! Consider the consequences of buying on credit when you have no hope of paying off your credit card until you get overseas again. We are used to going a shopping binge every summer on home leave or R and R, simply because we have always lived in places where items were unavailable or incredibly expensive on the local economy. Keep in mind that you can buy new towels any time, for example, so wait until the January white sales. Buy things at the end-of-season clearances-there is no rush: you are (probably) not heading off to Ouagadougou in two weeks! And, whenever possible, delay big purchases until right before you go overseas again, and then they won't sit on your Visa card accumulating interest for two or three years.

Lower your standards! Yes it was nice when we had a household staff dusting daily and ironing everything in sight. But those days are over, and it's actually kind of nice this way too. And the best thing is that everyone else's house looks pretty much like ours. Just keep things relatively under control, and be glad you finally have a dishwasher. Life's too short.

Special Bonus Tip for stay-at-home Moms: Join a playgroup/mother's group! It's free entertainment for the kids, an excellent source for useful information, and will probably do more to keep you sane in this workaholic city than anything else. There are several regional organizations specifically for stay-at-home mothers, many of which have a specific focus (Moms over 40, mothers of multiples, etc.) You are going to feel like an endangered species after a few weeks here, so be prepared to make an extra effort to get together with other people in your situation if you want to enjoy the experience.

The AAFSW playgroup is a group of returnee FS spouses in the Northern Virginia area who raise their kids full-time, and wish to "network" while providing a play opportunity for their children. Membership is open to anyone with preschool children who is associated with one of the foreign affairs agencies (you do not have to be a member of AAFSW, although we certainly encourage membership!). Weekly meetings rotate among member's homes, with frequent field trips to various parks and other activities in the area. Ladies Night Out is held every few weeks.